❤ESABELLA

that, i will remember & never forget. i promise.
sometimes you realise the reason why you're being a paranoid is just because theres someone there to get you.
and when lifes about to change, it may be beautiful, it may be painful.
but most of the time it's both.
the greater the trust, the greater the betrayal. (more pain, no gain!)
todays are like tomorrows that we worried about yesterday, it all seems so unbelievable.
sometimes when you're all cloud 9, you forget about falling.
you have to remember that something can always go wrong.
but most of the time, its always too late for realising.

today was 'cramp real badly' day.
but still i went for training! :D see how hardworking i am ha ha.
although i almost died, i survived!
pain is part of life, you know! but you can't let it blind you :)
after that train-ed home with jasline and sat on the playground to eat and talk.
i climbed wall! :D
haha, then while waiting for bus someone called my name.
then i realised it was a prank because i was wearing my pingpong tee!
(name written behind)
haa.. what a crampy day..
watching singapore idol, very bored.
kay, bye!:)

1. one of those days again.

2. but you know, except that todays exceptional. today's like, one of those worst days that marks your life again, it also means finding out truths.

3. truths that hurt and spoil your mood. but slowly makes you stronger.

4. so, today i looked into the dictionary and found your name. i'm just being nice not to spell it out here :)

5. but really. i trusted, believed, and treasured you.

6. but what did i get?

7. oh well thats what i get. i got everything you never wanted me to know. right?

8. but now i do.

9. because your names says it all. spells it all. whatever, but do get the fact that now, i know how much you hate me. but i just want you to know that i don't hate you. at all.

10. no doubt all those mean posts were about me.

11. ps, if you're anywhere guilty and curious of how i actually found out the truth,

12. SOMEONE TOLD ME!

13. you go around telling so many stories, i wouldn't have cared so much. but why not tell the full story? and not parts that only make me seem like a bad bad guy! why not FULL STORY?!

14. its obvious, i'm just a bad guy in your eyes. but seriously, i'm not the kind of person you think i am.

15. i don't care or want to know any intentions of yours anymore. cause i know they won't be good!

16. you can try getting the whole world to hate me but i know i still have true friends out there, that cares.

17. seriously you've been the explanation to the number of times i've cried for you.

18. cause really, i thought you were my friend..

19. 我放弃了。

JOKE OF THE DAY! (morning)

me : daddy, why i smell christmas tree? (walks into kitchen)
dad: ha? christmas tree? (mixing vege)
me: ya the smell really like christmas tree.
dad: NO LA, its the lettuce!
me: christmas tree and lettuce same family tree ah?

nono, cannot be.

i'm gonna be stronger ha ha, from house chores i guess. :/
urgh i'm rotting!
anyone want go out with me? xD

OHHHH OHHHH..      (sad face!)

breakfast =something fried.
lunch =something fried.
dinner =something fried.

esabella =something fat?

HA HA HI (:
traning today was helluva fun-ny :D

dorcas = ball smacker, or. bowler ball smacker lol xD (you know why? cause she play that time keep smacking balls at me accidentaly!)

esabella = ball collecter, or saliva spitter ha ha xD ( er, cause i keep collecting balls and cause i laugh too much?)

today something very AUTO happenend too, HA HA !
claps? (no.)
went ikea, courts and giant shop today.
AH, so embarassing, dun dare say,
HAHA bye bye. :D

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAH! D: WHATS THIS?
2F's 7sub motive-ational talk! :D

took this picture to motivate myself so next year when i go sec 3 i can look back and see how painful it was to go 7 sub ._.
so i'll work harder and become smart! xD


(18th of october 2009)

my hair was messy from all the goggle tries xD
but still jasline took a picture!
as promised but, sorry late ha ha x)
oh and i got a new swimming costume!

TO COMMEMORATE MY FIRST TIME SWIMMING IN 10 months! (on 18/10/2009)
longest time alive without swimming xD
now we're going swimming every week! :D

between every beautiful thing, theres some kind of pain.
i don't know. but whenever yout heart speaks, you take good notes.
eveyone gets one of those days when you wonder why no one understands what you're saying.
when the world looks horrible and you feel you can't be good enough for anyone.
i just have to believe that everything happens for a reason. people change so that you could learn to let go, things go wrong so you could appreciate them when they go right. you believe less and eventually you'd learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes, good things fall apart so better things could fall together.
they say that life's too short to worry about change, and at some point you learn to accept the fact that people you wish would never change do.
There are moments that mark your life, moments that you realise nothing will ever be the same anymore.
i believed everything changed, you're one of my reasons.
i don't know about next year, i'm just afraid things would go wrong again, like this year.
i don't want anymore pointless dramas, both at home and in school.
i want a new, fresh start. i don't want to be the same person anymore.
if i do get a chance, i'll take it.
and if it changes my life, i'll let it.

HI! (:
its the end of school, 2009... HAHAHAHA! :D
this year was fast! xD
not as expected but i'm looking forward to next year!
promise i'll study harder + study smarter!
so i can be clever :)
clever means get good grades, I WANT.
but abit lazy leh ._.
nono cannot lazy lah!
i will be hard working! x)
hah, so many things to worrry about.

yesterday was HALLOWEEN, and its also my mum's birthday :D
i baked a cake for her and its my first cake! (besides cookies)\
it wasn't that pretty, but the taste still okok la xD
i spent a whole day making the cake but when she want eat that time need rush off..
actually was quite sad, but haha nvm cause she say it's nice! :D

this morning was fun! :D
i was teaching my mother to use webcam then the effects damn funny we keep laughing like shit!
haaaaaaaaaaa! holiday homeworkss i don't want. ._.
holiday training i also don't want!

hmmm, cannot complain right! okay so lame haha,
good-bye! :D

MY RESULTS ARE SO LOUSY.
i am very sad..
i don't want to go to school.
HOW! :O

HELLO! (: missed me?
*yucks.
HA HA HA! :D super high now don’t mind ty!
Slept over at Ling’s house yesterday xD
We were in pjs’ and were about to sleep when we took the pictures!
took 10 but the rest unglam cannot show haha!
Sooo funn ;D HAHAAAAAHAAAAAAA.
not zi lian ok, this is called take for memories, especially if you're staying over at someone's house! :D
don't want to forget the fun filled moments right! ;D
Her laptop the effects damn cool damn nice (:
Aww see I miss her already! :D ( HAHA LOL,later someone jealous :X)
No la jkjk haha! :O
And guess what, Dad’s back tomorrowww yaaaaaayy!
Moving home uhuh uhuh (:

HELLO! :D
EXAMS OVER LE, HAPPY HAPPY! xD
all the papers so hard ._.
!@#$%^&*ASDFGHJKL$,    ..AHH! D:
but nvm, 'close the door' HAHA, chinese wen zhang got say leh! x)
today, i really really learnt a lot , AND I'M SO HAPPY! 
*HOORAY*
i learnt that everything's really really beautiful.
you won't know until you find out! :DD
so. today i found out, something surprised me.
now i know. (:
KAY. so clever. c'mon 10 more days Daddy come back alr! xD (patience = (Y)!)

these few days after the paper,
pee-vang very (how to say) quiet which makes her quite scary..
so MY DEAR SISTER if you see this must cheer up okay! :D
i may not know what made you so quiet but i think it's cause of science and geog right?
DO ALREADY DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! (:
you still got next year, nextnext year, nextnextnext year, until you go to uni! :D
don't let this affect you okay?
not like it's a end of everything paper so no need sad cause its just a paper!
an exam paper is nothing compared to your life and happiness kay!
get over it soon! :)
kay thats all i want to say. so if you see this then see, never see than nvm:)

hello! :D haven't been posting for quite a long time ._.
ha ha ha haaaaaa, xD its called  'l-a-z-y'.
but on the plus plus sunny side up side! 
I STUDY! :D
well oh well (: learn to believe your eyes.
i studied, but i spent time with tvs & computers too! xD
i need to pack and leave,
but i don't want to pack!
cause i don't want to leave...
it's good-bye in a day,
i'll be strong and take every obstacle okay!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. its going to be T O U G H and scaaaaarryy..
but who cares anyway, @ least i've got somewhere to stay (:


1. i don't like school cause i've been quarelling with miss rachel for the past 2 days.
but on the + side (:
i think we learnt more about each other.

2. so many reasons i feel like ponning school. ( dun wan list.) think of it and i'll get real blue.

3. i found out how lame i can actually get suddenly, i'm starting to write random songs.
not random actually... songs, like a dairy? O_o ..maybe i've been feeling too sad.

4. had many weird dreams. i dreamt i had a new house yesterday! :D

5. realise i've been feeling sad 90% of my time in school,
then realise how happy i can actually feel at home! THIS NEVER HAPPENED! 

6. i'm actually worrying my nights away.

7. i'm feeling sad for all the victims of disasters recently :( i want to give them my food.

8. ohmy. mrs koh was glad cause i passed e lit! :D (YAY!)

9. miss buddy tan have been trying to steal food again! D:<

10. i feel the depression in my room though its like my no. 1 best solitary hide out. CAUSE, i'm gonna part with you in a day! ):
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY <3 IS B-R-E-A-K-I-N-G.

11. BUDDY TAN IS SNORING. ha ha dogs are so humane sometimes x)

12. i can't sleep, thats why i'm blogging like. this! ._.

why am i feeling like this?
where is this going..
i thought i knew you for a minute, but i don't anymore.
this thing is breaking,
i don't feel welcome anymore.
it was perfect a second ago, now you're halfway out the door.
it's raining here, there. even when i'm gone.
you're feeling so low, you feel nothing at all.
this is not my perfect story,
this won't lead to happy endings.
cause with you aroud always giving me a cliff hanger ending,
i'd take it all back.
here we go again, historys' repeating.
someonelse is always getting what you wanted,
everything falls imperfect from what you needed.
you never had your say.
so now because it's different from before,
i'm breaking out...........



GOSSH I JUST FOUND OUT SOMETHING THAT GOT ME FREAGIN PISSED CAUSE SOMEONE WENT AROUND SPREADING THE BIG NEWS THAT I STAIN MY SKIRT LIKE 4 TIMES?
AND WHAT. I ONLY STAINED ONCE. THAT WAS MY FIRST AND WHY MAKE SUCH A BIG HOO HAAAAAAA OVER IT.
ITS NORMAL FOR GIRLS, LOSER. get it right before spreading RUMOURS.
get your FACTS RIGHT. i repeat.
GET IT RIGHT. oh cause you're a guy thats why you dunno? THEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND HUMANS BETTER YOU ALIEN.
loser. big loser. stupid loser.
















now i'm feeling upset.
i'm feeling sad.
i tried calling but i guess no one's there for me.
at the moment, when i'm dieing to scream.